Max just got two new pairs of Adidas sneakers and he is very excited. I am happy for him. He has growing feet. He’ll need a pair of dressier shoes for Adam’s bar mirtzvah…he just informed me he wants a suit as well. How many times will he wear a suit? Anyone have a suit for a sixteen and a half year old? Hmmmm. Max Cargal-Bley had his bar mitzvah today. It was very lovely. It has been pouring rain in buckets around here lately. It’s nice to have the metal roof. I like it. I like the rain but only because it is November. Ask me about it in February. That’s all the news for now. Isn’t blogging fun?

I mourn the loss of October, my favorite month. The last day, Bernie’s 52nd birthday, was perfect in every way. Max was contented somewhere on Vashon Island sleeping off a night of hanging with friends. He has been enjoying high school and even though it is a little scary around his math grade, I just appreciate that he is such a wonderful kid and that he’s having fun. He is working hard and what I learned at the college fair a few weeks ago is that there are plenty of great colleges and/or universities for kids with solid B averages — they don’t all have to be 4.0 kids. Adam was working on painting a scene on a Grecian urn for his quarter project and, because I had to drive, I was stuck in north Seattle. Stuck is the wrong word. Marty was busy in the morning and I was happy to pick Adam up after he spent the night with my mom. They saw Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Their collective review was that the show was so-so. Marty and I saw August: Osage County the same night. It was terrific. So, it’s Saturday morning and I got my hair cut and colored FINALLY and that felt pretty good. It was truly the first time I’ve had a couple of hours of free time to do that in many moons. After dining at Blue C Sushi, Adam said he had another couple of hours work so I took a long and leisurely walk through neighborhoods north of University Village. I stopped off to visit with Wendy and Willie Katz. Willie was tormenting Teddy and Wendy as he was stuck doing what he considered way too much homework for a guy who was trying to enjoy Halloween. The weather — what can I say about Saturday’s weather for walking except it was more than perfect? I have always appreciated good weather. Living in Seattle makes one appreciate it even more. Living post-cancer ups it exponentially. The weather was PERFECT. The leaves were perfect. People’s Halloween-decorated homes were perfect. I had some alone time which was perfect. I got back exactly as Adam was finishing then Marty, Adam and I had dinner with the Friedman-Petersen family. The kids trick-or-treated on their own and it was so lovely to just hang out. Max was back on Vashon with friends and it felt like a special treat knowing we’d all get that extra hour of sleep that night. I am trying hard to treasure every moment we have with Max. If he wants to hot tub (and he did last week) I jump and go no matter what I am doing as I know these times are going to be fewer and fewer. Marty, Adam, Max and I hot tubbed together last night before bed and that was great. Marty doesn’t like our hot tub as it has never been his cup of tea (he’s a sauna guy) and he hates that we are constantly heating water but it is serving us well. It is GREAT for my joints which (who knew) would really appreciate some warmth as I take those yukky drugs to ward away estrogen-positive cancer. It attracts kids to come to our home. Yea. It gives us a place to talk late at night and to be vulnerable and to share dreams. It’s a good thing. Sometimes it’s worth it to heat up a lot of water just to have family time. I notice that I have given up paragraphs in general today. Adam got first prize for his DALAI LAMA costume. My dad said he was sad because he sent me to a good university and I misspelled Dalai last week. Speaking of my dad, get this….he was taking a walk in the little park by the house where I grew up the other day and a dog knocked him over. THAT shouldn’t happen to a dog let alone the fact that a dog caused the problem. He has a skinned knee, ripped pants, a sore arm and did he get the address or phone number of the person who owns the dog ? What do you think? NO! He’s lucky as the dog could have hurt way more. I am, by nature, a dog person…I love dogs. I do not like THAT dog. Dogs ought not knock over people who are heading for their 89th birthday. It is not nice. It is poor doggie behavior. A cat (and I hate cats) would never knock anyone over. They might smother a baby, but they would NOT knock someone over. Enough said on that. Enough said all together. Let’s face it. I am rambling. No more.

Adam is dressed as the Dali Lama today but he’s doing it Dolly Parton with a llama on his shoulder. He is rather hilarious. He is hoping to win most original costume at school. Large photo below. It is difficult to see the full Llama but it was early in the morning when the photo was taken. I will add a couple of more….maybe. I am technology challenged. It is gray and cloudy and very “Halloweenish” out there. My brother turns 52 tomorrow. I hope his next 52 years go well as he deserves a whole bunch of good ones. Now that the play is over, we are heading into full planning for Adam’s bar mitzvah. Invitations went out to out-of-towners and relatives last week. We will send in-town later in the month. We have many friends who will stay at IslandWood with our out-of-town guests and we are excited about the whole prospect. EXTRA EXTRA (stop reading if body functions gross you out) my chemotherapy dead toenail fell off this week. I see this as a milestone of continual shedding of that time in my life. Scroll below for photo(s).

All purchased as second hand stores except for my jeans jacket.

What can I say? I think EVERY child ought to get to cross dress when they feel like it. We had a “Think Pink” day yesterday at work…there were photos there from last year and I wanted to take mine down as I feel much hairier and happier now. I was just getting hair last

October and now I have enough to

complain about….Adam and my mom are

off to see “Joseph and the Amazing

Technicolor Dreamcoat” tonight. Marty

and I are seeing August Osage County and

Max and Matt (our temporary son until

Monday) will be roaming Vashon with high

school friends. I must get to work as

soon as possible. Bad news…Elyssa, my

college roommate and dear friend, was laid off from work today after 21 years of dedicated service. How sucky is that? She has to the end of the year on the payroll and a good severance package but still….21 years. She never loved the work but it did pay the bills and it wasn’t anything she dreaded…now she gets to reinvent herself. So that is the posting for now. I know my posts are boring and I’m pleased about that. Thanks for reading anyway.

 

Adam’s Drama Dock show, The Veldt, is a one-act show which opens Thursday, Oct. 22 and runs Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. The show is not long, but his part is powerful and it’s an interesting show all together considering Bradbury wrote it in the 40’s and it is supposed to take place in the 90’s and much of what is in it has come to pass. The other one-act playing on the same bill is Bradbury’s Kalaidescope. They cast seven women in the parts of the astronauts so it ought to be different.

Tickets are $10 for aduls; $8 for seniors and students. We have 75% of the grandparents coming to see the show as well as assorted cousins, friends, aunt and uncle, etc. We are getting it that Adam really loves this stuff and we are just sharing the information. No obligation to come to all Adam shows as there are more down the pike.

He just got cast in his first Book-It Theatre show next spring. He is very excited to be at a “real” Seattle theatre….we always thought Drama Dock and Broadway Bound were real, but he feels like this is moving up and we support him.

Let me know if you want tickets as I am the ticket agent on this side of the water. You can also purchase tickets at the door. The shows will include some discussion about Ray Bradbury as well and should make for an intriguing evening or afternoon. We are dining on Vashon on Saturday night for sure and possibly on Sunday for lunch so let us know if you want to join us.

So…most of you know that the Westermans of Seattle are big IslandWood fans. IslandWood is a school in the woods started way back as the Puget Sound Environmental Center or something like that — but later rescued and really dreamed up, developed and realized by Paul and Debbi Brainerd –okay, really by Debbi from what I understand but Paul cared enough to support as well and helped purchase and dream of what could be with his wife.

We were lucky enough to get to have Max’s bar mitzvah there in the spring of 2006 and we get one more chance to bring our family and friends together this January for Adam’s bar mitzvah. In between all of that, we have managed, once in a while to get a bunch of people to buy in to a weekend “family reunion” or we have gone up with our kids for the annual auction and spent the night. Max went to a leadership camp at IslandWood and Adam got the honor of going with his fifth grade class thanks to Margaret Saunders and Theresa Roth who were HUGE advocates at Lowell.

I am trying to get WEA to utilize IslandWood’s amazing resources more but… you know… the economy…blah, blah, blah. We will continue pushing for this as our members would benefit soooooooooooooooo much more for being there than for being in a hotel with TVs and shopping but that is just one woman’s opinion.

Meanwhile, I was invited to go to this annual event they have been having there for seven years now called Circle of Friends. It has always interested me but fell to close to the Jewish high holidays….or it was too expensive for friends to consider or I felt it was too expensive for ME to consider or a number of other reasons….we already get to go to IslandWood — do I deserve to take another weekend there? Etc.

When I was invited to go this year, my arm was twisted (gently) and some kind sould donated a few scholarships so the “too expensive” excuse fell. Plus (and this was the huge plus) I was invited to bring someone along. I immediately thought about exposing someone with deep pockets and no knowledge of IslandWood but I don’t know anyone who has deep pockets let alone someone who hasn’t heard me wax on and on and on about why IslandWood is so dear to our family. IslandWood staffer Margaret said, “Why don’t you bring someone who could use a revitalizing weekend?”

Well, that opened the doors. I would say nearly 98 percent of my women friends (this is a women’s weekend so even though many of my male friends  could use this, I was only thinking women) could use a revitalizing weekend. Margaret even went so far as to say, “Ask someone along who has done something nice for you.” Hmmmm. I think every woman I know did something nice for me while I was struggling through chemo.

I asked Karen, my sister-in-law. I asked Glenda too, but she was off galavanting in Vermont and Karen, you may recall, yelled at my family regularly to do laundry, set boundaries and so on. At one point, Karen threatened to move in if my family didn’t step up to the plate. Karen was as close to a cancer bully as one could get without having gone through cancer and, I must say, that is a compliment.

So…even though Karen has been traveling our direction several times lately, she relented one day after having a little tiff with daughter Hannah who has the nerve to act like a 17-year-old and get on her mother’s nerves just a bit with her 17-year-old antics….let’s just say I caught Karen in a moment of  “I need a little escape.” Timing is everything.

We signed up for classes (you get to take three over the weekend) and looked forward to the weekend with the attitude of what could possibly be bad at IslandWood. HOWEVER, I still had a little trepidation. After all, many of the women who were attending had been attending for all seven year. After all, we’ve always had IslandWood on our family reunion terms or training terms or school program terms…what would it be like to be with all of those strangers? It was kind of one of those, “We are going to camp with a bunch of people who have been going forever, but okay, we’ll try it,” kind of attitudes.

The weather was perfect. I mean…perfect in a way that only October can be. Crisp, colorful, gorgeous, sunshine perfect. Karen drove the back way and was there when I arrived (after missing the 4:40 ferry due to Friday afternoon crowds. I was chillin’ the moment I left the parking lot and headed in as IslandWood’s trees begin to work their magic on me immediately. Karen and I had our own room (I brought extra earplugs thinking we’d be with strangers and that they’d have to deal with our snoring or we’d have to deal with theirs). Having our own room was surprise number one. It put me at ease.

IslandWood Chef Jim’s dinner did what all IslandWood meals do — gave me a sense of comfort, heartiness and warmth. The evening was very relaxing. The highlight was seeing the resident owl Isabel (I had never seen Isabel ever though I have tried to find her many times) and she was watching as the IslandWood graduate students were learning how to band (so they can track) little tiny owls that I thought were called sow owls but having looked that up since then I find that is incorrect. They were very small and it was amazing to see them doing this late at night. They had nets up and the area was quiet except for the sound of owl calls to attract them and the women who were hiking had to be hushed as we had no idea they were out and I am sure the graduate students had no idea they’d have a gaggle of giggling women nearby…Isabel was the coolest of all.

We went back to the new lodge — the Ichtyology Lodge to play Mah Jong, Scrabble, etc. Did I mention the flourless chocolate cake, the cheese cake and the s’mores? Or the wine? Karen and I slept well and awoke refreshed for our day’s classes.

Karen took a back yard gardening class which she loved. Her instructor grew up on Long Island the daughter of a farmer (I think) and moved to Seattle some eight years ago. Karen came to lunch (see how food is a theme here?) with lots of new ideas for her container gardening including naming her fleet of tubs based on what is planted in them…a nautical theme is what she is thinking — The HMS Tomato or something like that. I took an art class. When was the last time I did anything artistic? I fancy myself the total NOT artist. I made two necklaces –one I think that I will give as a gift to my friend Joanie, since I MISSED her birthday. The class was challenging because I am an art dweeb. Luckily, the women (all of those women I was kind of nervous about) were so tremendously cool — Erin, a first grade teacher from the school next door who was particularly good at this but also particularly funny and helpful — Mary Ann, a writer from Manhattan who was there as an instructor for another class, but who also had slight trepidations about her art confidence. We soldered our way through our work — we used materials I had never heard of to create chemical reactions to help put our charm necklaces together and I have to say, it was fun even though I was stressing about the actual work. It was challenging and I haven’t really been challenging myself so, that was very good and the instructor, Susan, was very patient. During the class, we had tons of snacks because, God forbid, we should go hungry.

Lunch was IslandWood lunch — should I talk about the amazing pasta dish with kale in it? Maybe not. We sat with the gardener, Amy, who was extremely cool as well as other lovely women. We had a bit of free time after lunch then headed for our Nia dance class.

Skeptics unite. Karen mentioned on the way to class that a good friend LOVES Nia and that is why she was trying it. She also mentioned that she rarely likes the experiences her friend enjoys. I am not a dancer. Need I say more? This was supposed to be about bringing joy into your life through dance, blah, blah, blah. Okay, I thought. I’ll try it. If nothing else, I’ll get some exercise in after three amazing IslandWood meals with more to come. After dancing for about an hour, the instructor (a woman in her 60’s who used to be a University of Virginia professor), had us sit in a circle and describe in a word, what the class was like for those of us who had done Nia for the first time. Profound. Really. I am not kidding. The class was profound for me. It was the first time since I’ve been “deported” that I felt all the way safe moving freely and I felt a great amount of joy and play in that class. I will see if I can take a Nia class in Seattle. Karen, too, loved it. Other women there loved it. There was this energy not usually found in my every day doings that was really contagious and, what can I say, profound.

Dinner. Yum. Our new friend, Randy, told us she was practicing her surprised look because she was going to win the Nordstrom Spa weekend. Karen told her we bought 700 raffle tickets (not true) but it didn’t phase her. Connie (another woman at our table) told her she purchased 725 tickets and stuffed the spa vase but, that didn’t even for an iota of a second make Randy doubt she would win. Guess what? Of the 150 women there, Randy won the weekend.

It happened later that evening at the campfire where we drummed and did call and response with the neighborhood coyotes and sang and laughed …oh my God, how could I get to the campfire without talking about Jim’s chocolate mousse? Or is that moose? Definitely not mouse. It was good. The drumming was amazing and powerful. You’d have to be there to really get it. It was incredible. I was really loving being around some of these women I hardly knew…Maureen (also a teacher…I have teacher gay-dar). Maureen was funny. And kind and lovely. She did NOT want to drum as I did NOT want to art or dance but she did and my guess is she is feeling a bit of what I am feeling this morning. She DID drum and she was awesome. We all were. We were awesome women all around.

Okay, enough gushing. I will say just one more thing. Karen and I both went to a Dee Dickinson class on Sunday morning. A deer looked in on our class for a good five or six minutes. She was just checking us out as we went through some movement any of us can do to take a little break during the work day. I bet the deer is talking about it to her family right now. And, in the end, we bent spoons….with our minds. If I even begin to try to explain that, you’ll think I’ve gone over the edge so I won’t even try. Needless to say, Karen is as close to a sister as I will ever have and needless to say, I was honored to be there with her as I’ll never be able to repay her for all she did for me these last couple of years. Who would think that in the middle of singing Amazing Grace (how did that happen?), we felt a moment of really close energy…how do two pragmatic women who normally don’t buy in a lot of “woo-wei” stuff end up just letting it all go and loving singing that song? Got me.

If IslandWood’s Circle of Friends comes after the Jewish holidays next year, I would like to go back with Karen…and maybe if we each bring one friend…or maybe two then they bring their friends the next year…we could have our own circle….that’s my plan and I’m sticking to it.

None of this would have happened, of course, had it not been for the person who donated the money to get me to go. So, I wish I could thank them personally. If they knew there were times I felt I was moving some cancer ju-ju away and bringing some post-cancer good energy flow in, they would know their donation went a long way. I can and will thank Margaret and Wendy who are the two people who pushed, pulled, nudged, cajoled and gently forced me into going. Karen and I thank them both as it was a wondrous and wonderful weekend.

October has always been my favorite month. It will always be my favorite month. It is the month that has the best weather in the largest amount of space in the United States (okay, just the lower 48). I used to live in Chicago. That is a beautiful city with crappy weather…except October. It’s crisp and clear and colorful in Chicago in October. I won’t go through every state and I know that those southern states can’t deal with October because of hurricane season, but really, October rocks.

The boys are busy — one playing lots of tennis and the other rehearsing more seriously, now, for his play which opens the third weekend (it closes then too). He is enjoying it just as Max is enjoying tennis. Marty is busying himself with house projects and freelance articles. I am eating really, really, really good chocolate. Yum and thank you to our chocolate benefactor, Nina Rosenkranz.

I get to go to IslandWood this weekend due to some very, very, very kind people there. I am stretching myself by taking some classes I would never take. Karen Westerwoman is coming too due to some very, very, very, very kind people. IslandWood in October is better than anything I can possibly imagine. I will be walking and talking and learning and enjoying.

We are busy at work. I am most frustrated by our technological glitches and issues but I realize that they will, likely, never go away. We need a real fix and we’re not going to get it so I am not quite sure why I get so hacked off about technology…oh, yes, I know why…because it is what we use to communicate. My co-workers are great so that far out balances everything else.

Three people told me last week they have been diagnosed with breast cancer. It continues to be an every day issue for me, but it is now a different issue and I appreciate being on this end. I am so lucky to have my family and our friends. Our rabbi (our interim rabbi who mentioned to me today that he has decided to be addressed His Interimness since he can’t come up with whether he can deal with Rabbi Laytner, Rabbi Anson (hates that one), Anson (he’s fine with that), Rabbi (he’s okay with that) ) and his wife came over for dinner earlier this week. What a joy to get to know them a bit better. I hope we get a few more chances to hang out before his term is up. . . and since they live in Seattle, maybe we can be pals after.

We are crazed with scheduled stuff so that is one reason I am not writing very often. Plus, as you have all heard before, I have not much to say. How do you blog about ordering brown kippot or thanking sisters-in-law and friends for helping get the invitation in order? Kind of boring stuff. More people are asking to be added to the bar mitzvah list. I hope it all works out. Ciao for now.

No doubt, things are different after cancer. Every day, I simply appreciate things more than before. That’s pretty much it in a nutshell. I appreciate that I got to take part in services today. I appreciate seeing shows or a good meal or dessert (yes, I am writing this during Yom Kippur fast). I appreciate that my children’s grandparents are all alive and healthy and I am sending particular good wishes to my father-in-law who had a heart attack last week, but who is stinted and doing better. He is supposed to depart from the hospital today. A friend, Maury, called the other day and was in a tiny panic about swine flu and Adam’s bar mitzvah. He was reading the Newsweek article that predicts half the country will have swine flu. He is worried about flying. I hope they don’t all have it the weekend of Adam’s bar mitzvah and it’ll be what it’ll be. We can only all try to keep healthy…and do the best we can. I hope those who fasted has an easy one and those who didn’t had a good day. Ciao for now.

Tonight is the eve of Yom Kippur — the day of atonement for Jews around the world. It’s our biggie. May you all be inscribed in the book of life for another year.

It is Erev Rosh Ha Shannah and I am reflecting upon the year (as is customary for this time of year) and I can’t help but think about the idea that I will be singing this evening with three Jeffs and a Geoff. We joke, in our ensemble, about all changing our name to Jeff — I try to spell my name Djef and would if we had Jeff tee-shirts. But those four in the ensemble plus my friend, Jeff Strickler, have me thinking about them and about my year and about life.

Beginning with my friend, Geoff, he stands out. He spells his name in a way that stands out. He and I have known one another, now, since Kol Ha Neshamah began. I love him. I love him because it is a joy to sing with him and because we’ve spent many years  together “preparing” for the high holidays and this year it was so easy. We have laughed and goofed and felt like crying at times during the process of preparing. This year, it has been a pleasure for so many reasons which I will not go into here except to say that there are different people in different roles and it is better. There have been a couple of times in the last couple of years that I felt my friend, Geoff, drifting from our temple. I believe, now, that will occur less and for that I am very thankful. He is a huge asset (not a huge ass, but a huge asset) to our community and the preparation and time and passion he puts in is sometimes overlooked and undervalued. Geoff also told me who my oncologist should be at a time when I wasn’t thinking very clearly. Through his guidance (as well as my oncologist friend, Nanette’s good advice) I ended up with someone who makes me feel confident as I continue trying to put breast cancer in its proper perspective. For Geoff, I wish a year of laughter, joy, health (of course), decision, adventure, less hard work and peace.

My next Jeff is Jeff Skolnick. I love Jeff. He, like so many of our friends and colleagues, is fighting to reconfirm the simple basic right that every couple in this country deserves. Washington currently has strong domestic partnership legislation — some call it everything but marriage. Sadly, there are people in this state who are trying to take those simple, basic, human rights away from gay and lesbian couples (as well as a few other kinds of couples but I won’t go into that). Bottom line? A community of people who are socially active and compassionate are now tied up fighting for something that seems so simple and so clear cut. It is a shame that people have to spend money, time and energy fighting for what is a God-given right — the right to love whomever they wish and the legal rights that go with that love. Jeff is a single parent of two beautiful children — one is a teenager. For him I wish patience, patience, patience for teenagers as well as a resounding win which will put this issue in this state, at least, to rest and a model of how the other people in this country should act when it comes to human rights. I also wish Jeff health (of course), love, laughter, energy (for the kids) and a year of satisfaction in work as well as in all aspects of his life.

Jeff number three — Jeff Adberg. I love Jeff Adberg. I love that he is mild mannered and “sweet” and kind and that he rides a motorcycle. This Jeff, like so many Jeffs around our country, has had to face work questions as the economy has taken such a pounding. This Jeff commutes each day from Vashon to Seattle. He has a lovely wife and two beautiful children. They are very “Vashon” in their values — they care about the environment; they make sure their children are learning to be independent and self sufficient. They are very devoted to their island community and involved in their temple there as well as ours in West Seattle. This Jeff has had to deal with being given a lot less work, which means, less pay. This Jeff has no interest in being wealthy. He has an interest in providing what his family needs. They do not go on extravagant vacations or take their teenage daughter shopping for new clothes every time there is an event. All he wants is to make sure they make ends meet. Like so many in our country, what I wish for this Jeff is that the economy improve and NOW. I wish him and his family health, laughter, satisfaction and a stress-free year. People ought not lose sleep over the fact that they are not sure about their next paycheck or how much is in it (or not).

The fourth Jeff is Jeff Stombaugh. I love Jeff. He is our Saturday morning song leader. He is red-headed and cute and I always hope our son, Max, will take his fine example. He just graduated a couple of years (three or four now?) years ago and he personifies humility… he is one reason our ensemble is having a way better time rehearsing. He is a great guy. He has a wonderful family and though he belongs to a different synagogue, we claim him. We love him. He’s ours. He has tried to rope Max into working with him and says he has potential as a song leader, but he also knows when NOT to push and for that, I am grateful. When I look at Jeff, I am confident our next generation is skilled and knowledgeable and that they know what they are doing. I feel like I am his aunt…strange but true. For this Jeff, I wish health (as usual), laughter (why not?), fun, satisfaction, good gigs, and enjoyment in his teaching of younger kids. He is the kind of young man one wants every child to aspire to be — he seems genuinely happy to do the work he does.

My fifth Jeff is Jeff Strickler. Jeff Strickler is NOT a member of Kol HaNeshamah. He is the first friend I ever made in Seattle. I have known this Jeff longer than all of the other Jeffs/Geoff. He and i met in the autumn of 1986 — 23 years ago in October. This Jeff has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He went through too many rounds of chemo to find out that it was not effective. He has been told he has “a few months.” This Jeff is kind of like my brother, Bernie, in that even though we are not talking every day all the time, he can be counted upon for anything and I would do anything for him. Like Bernie, Jeff and I can pick up a conversation after weeks, months of not talking and fall right into it. Jeff listened to me when Marty and I were newly married and still trying to work out issues that wer frightening to me. This Jeff held my hand through bumpy parts of my life. He sat on my deck last year while I was hairless and weary and he has always been an “uncle” to our kids. It is likely I will lose this Jeff before spring and I am not yet prepared to deal with what it will be like to have that hole in my life. I am working hard to try to figure out how to help Jeff do what he wants, what he needs and what needs doing between now and when the real pain of pancreatic cancer sets in. He is in a pretty good state of mind. He is spending time comforting people like me and letting them know he is fine. I have a lot to learn from Jeff and the way he handles this journey with dignity over the next few months. For him, I wish time to get better before he gets worse, time to be with those he loves, laughter, time to just “be”, time to smell the leaves as they fall off the trees and time to smell the first autumn rain. I wish him strength so he can get around to do whatever he wants to do. I also wish a miracle. Cancer sucks. Really. No blessing there. It just sucks.

It is likely that next year at this time I will have four Geoff/Jeffs in my life. I am not yet ready to grieve that but, like everything else, the time will come for that as well.

On a personal note, a year ago, now, I was already finished with heavy chemotherapy. I was facing a year of simple chemotherapy — herceptin and the pain of learning about Femara (bad drug for me), and re-entering or finding the new normal for me. I am getting there and there is not a day anymore — ever– that I don’t, at the end of the day, say a little shehechiyanu and say, “that was a good day.” Things like colonoscopies and getting my port out and all of that stuff now seem very simple — everything, now, seems very simple compared to having gone through dense dose chemo. My family is starting to act more like we used to BC (before cancer) though when I hear about people like Viv (Glenda’s friend) or some of Dottie’s friends who LOST their battle with cancer this year, I get scared. Dottie had a little scare this year in her other breast and while she took a sleeping pill, I was up all night worried sick and hoping that all would be okay. It turned out okay. So, when I think about my last year, I think of it as a transition year. Transitioning from the shock of being diagnosed (the year before) and transition from heavy chemo to simple chemo and transition between being in survival mode to, now, getting back into healthy mode.  My last year was far better than the year before. February 2008 (when I fell 800 feet down a mountain) to September 4, 2008 (the last day of heavy chemo) sucked. But last year, at the new year, it was a year of growth. My hair grew back (and eyelashes, and eyebrows, etc.) and we all grew as a family.My mom just moved here from Florida — a huge transition for her and a transition for us as a family. KHN is in transition with the departure of Michael Latz and the leadership of our transition rabbi, Anson Laytner. I hope we find a good match in our rabbinical search. It has been a year of transition for all. Every year is a year of transition for all.

My goal this year is to grow again and to grow healthier. My goal is to accompany our friend, Jeff Strickler, as much or as little as he wants. My goal is to see the economy get better so Jeff Adberg can sleep well every night. My goal is for Jeff Skolnick to spend time raising his children — more than raising money to fight people who wish to take away his rights. My goal is to help KHN flourish even as we transition. My goal is to learn some new music from Jeff Stombaugh and to support him in his role at KHN. My goal is to close my eyes on Friday nights and listen to Geoff sing Yiyhu Le Razon after the Amidah and feel the separation between the mundane of the week vs. the sweetness of Shabbat. My goal is to be a better wife, a better mom, a better sister, a better daughter, a better co-worker and, finally, a better friend. It’s a big agenda. I better get on it soon. Thanks for reading.

I am sitting in a room full of colleagues. They are from different parts of the state. They are new and veteran; they represent many different offices and departments at WEA. They are talking about what worked this year in bargaining and what didn’t. They are learning from one another. I say “they” rather than “we” because I don’t actually participate in actual bargaining.

I am highly impressed by these people. They have large brains. They are creative. They are compassionate and passionate about their work. They care deeply about our members. They are sharing their successes as well as their failures. They are talking about how to help improve our members’ work lives. I am so lucky to do what I do. Some of the people in the room are brilliant strategists. Some are the kind who can sense the pulse of large groups. Some, like me, do not actually participate in the actual bargaining at the table but they help organize members once they have decided what to do. Some of our bargaining for this year are still at the table.

When I was in Kent the other day, I interviewed a woman who told me she was against the strike at the beginning, but that she came to find she would be willing to go to jail and to lose her savings to stand up for the needs of the students. This woman said that normally, she would never break a law, but that sometimes one HAS to break a law in order to stand up for what one believes. This woman (and many like her) found their voice during the strike. They felt a moral obligation to stay out and to stand up for the kids in the district.

Okay, I better get back to work….