Decisions, decisions
Max and Marty are touring the University of Colorado today. There is a piece of me that wants Max to love it and want to attend because I love Colorado. I want Max to experience living in a place I hold so dear in my heart. He’d have the chance to be with family and dear friends. There is also a piece of me who wants him not to attend because it is a huge university and he won’t get personal attention for the first two years.
Max and I toured Loyola New Orleans a few months ago. I want Max to love it and attend there because New Orleans is different from the entire rest of the nation and he will love living there. It is a place where he will experience a culture that is vastly different from Seattle. I also want him to like it because the university has a strong reputation for teaching the whole student. The Jesuits teach compassion and encourage the students to explore their spirituality as well and that makes people grow. I don’t want him to attend because it is far away and will take a day to get back and forth. I want him to attend because he will have friends there and a good support system. I don’t want him to attend because he will be one of the only Jewish kids on campus. I want him to attend because he will be one of the only Jewish kids on campus. I know that doesn’t make sense but it does to me. He will have to make an effort to find other Jewish kids if he wants that kind of interaction. Tulane is right next door. There are Jewish kids galore there.
Max will be touring Willamette on Friday. I want him to go there because it is easy and close. I don’t want him to go there because it is in the northwest and he has already lived here for nearly 18 years. It is the best of where he got in as far as academics, but, in the end, any of the schools are exactly what you make of them. I want him to go there because it is a beautiful campus. He will be close to Portland and family and friends and it’s very easy to jump home. I don’t want him to go there because I am told it is more conservative – way more so than CU or Loyola NOLA. I was told Loyola NOLA is full of liberals where Tulane was full of democrats.
Max got waitlisted at Santa Clara University. I want him to go there because, like Loyola NOLA, it is a Jesuit university which encourages a very well rounded exploration for students. Unlike Loyola NOLA, the environment is not in the center of one of the coolest cities in the country. The campus is beautiful. Way nicer than Loyola NOLA. But Loyola NOLA is next door to Tulane which has a beautiful campus where a guy can play ultimate Frisbee. He would have family and friends nearby if he attended, but it seems he is going to have that no matter what. Jewish issue? Same as Loyola but no Tulane next door. He had already ruled Santa Clara out. Should he rule them back in? The weather is great there. We have a friend who is enjoying his freshman year a lot. What Santa Clara does have that none of the others have is a quarter system – far superior to semesters as far as I am concerned.
Redlands? Out. Western Washington? Nope. He’ll visit but has no intention of attending and we’re fine with that. University of Montana? If only he loved colder weather and snow. He could get an amazing education there for next to nothing in terms of cost but it is not where he wants to be and we get that.
I want Max to make the decision that makes him happy. I want him to talk to Marla and Salvador tonight since they will have insights that both Marty and I do not have.Salvador attended Loyola NOLA and Marla went to a smaller university then a larger one. I want Max to go wherever he chooses to go with an open mind and an open heart. I want him to love college as much as I did. Marty did not like his college experience. He was very, very young when he attended. He never got the choices Max has or I had or my brother had. I want Max to walk across his campus and just be happy that he is there. I appreciated Northwestern every day. I am not kidding. I loved it on the most frigid days and I loved it even in the middle of finals because I just appreciated being there.
I believe my brother had the same experience at Oberlin. He enjoyed all of his time there and still has deep connections with friends he made there. I just want our son to enjoy his next few years and to grow and learn and experience the joy and fun of going to college. I want him to expand his mind and follow dreams – even if they are different dreams each day. I want him to learn about balance and I want him to meet lots of different kinds of people. I want him to travel if he chooses to do that – something both my brother and I should have done while we were in school but we didn’t since we had so many other travel opportunities.
It’s his decision in the end. But how does one guide a young man when there are so many open doors? Maybe I should just “get it” that, knowing Max, he’ll make any choice he makes be the “right” choice. He’ll make wherever he chooses his new home and he’ll embrace it and make it work for him. That’s the kind of guy he is so maybe I ought to just chill out. Sorry I rambled.
This is just one of the first of many huge decisions that Max will have the opportunity to make. You have guided him plenty and brilliantly with his college path.He has learned and absorbed so much from ya’ll. He will “get it” and make the “right” decision; and he will make the best of his decision, as you said, no matter what.So rest easy. He is exactly in the place he needs to be. We are all proud of him and love him.