Happy anniversary to Kramer

One year ago today, we got a dog. One year ago today, Adam and I got in the van and drove to Chehalis, WA to visit a dog I had seen advertised on Craig’s List.

“Don’t get a dog off Craig’s List,” we were told. It is obvious why we should not have done that, but we were doing all the right other things. We were being approved left and right to adopt a dog from several rescue agencies. We would visit the doggy pound regularly, but when I saw a possible dog, by the time I could figure a way to get Adam back to look, the dog would be gone.

So, in my search, I kept an eye on Craig’s List as well. One day I saw a picture of a dog named Marley. The dog’s photo called out to me more than any other I had seen. I am not sure why. We had a long list of what we wanted:

Hair, not fur; Bark okay but yappy, no; Not tiny, but not big; Crate trained; A dog that would not bolt when front door of the house opened; blah, blah, blah. When I wrote to the people on Craig’s list to inquire about said dog, Marley, the e-mail bounced back. It bounced bag again and again. I realized that the dog was already gone. Still, there was something about that photo…

I put an ad on Craig’s List that said, “Looking for Marley,” and explained that our nearly fourteen-year-old wanted a dog more than anything else for his 14th birthday. I explained that we needed a good doggy because we had no idea what we were doing as the last dog in my life was Tippy, a Manchester, rat terrier/chihuahua mutt we’d had as kids who my mom had to take to the vet in the end of her life (not my mom’s — the dog, Tippy). 

Max, Adam and I had been on a very, very long campaign to get Marty to okay a dog. Marty was worried he would be stuck with all doggy duties and nixed the idea through the years simply by saying we could get a dog, but that he would move out. He now says he meant he would move his office out but we three know he said HE would move out for if he didn’t say that, we’d have gotten the dog a million years ago. Choosing between dog and dad, the boys always chose dad. Having had to choose between dog and dad keeping his office at home, all three of us would have opted for dog as we never cared if his office was at home or not at home. In any event, I digressed. Marty had other reasons wh we ought not have a dog…we’d be tied to coming home and lose all spontaneity; dogs sometimes get sick and throw up all over the house; dogs are a hassle; dogs smell bad; dogs tie you down. Additionally, Marty’s strong argument against was that the boys would not care for the dog and it would be up to us. I bought in to that argument as we babysat dogs a lot through the years and, while the boys loved having them around, it was harder for them to do all the duties that go with doggies.

Adam persisted. He was relentless. To top it off, he was having a rough year in school last year. He needed a friend. My mom said he needed a friend. At one point, Marty asked me if I wanted a dog when I was going through chemo. I believe my nasty response was something like, “I do NOT want a sympathy dog!!!!” Truth is, Marty’s arguments were all valid. I agreed with most of them. What changed my mind was this:  Adam was angling for ANY pet. He didn’t care what kind but he was INSISTING we ought to get some pet for his 14th and he said he’d help take care of it. So, we were going to get something that would tie us down, force us to be less spontaneous, smell up the house, etc., etc., anyway. I had no desire for a caged hamster, gerbil, rabbit or some other furry rodent kind of thing. Turtle? No cuddles and I wasn’t seeing where the Schencks got a log of pleasure out of their turtle thought they did love him. Reptiles? No. Bunny? Not really. In the end, if we were going to commit to some kind of living pet, it may as well be a pet I would like too since I would be pet partner. Max was departing for college the following year so he was not going to “buy in” so much. This was going to be Adam’s adventure. I would be partner and Marty was not happy but he was NOT going to move out when it was all said and done — at least we hoped so. Seriously, he said it would probably be okay though he would have nothing to do with doggy duties.

So, we went to visit this Craig’s List dog. A Mennonite family had rescued this dog from the original owner. Our dog was kept in a crate the vast majority of every day with his mommy dog. Did I mention the dogs were kept together in a cat crate? All the time?I mean, all the time. The original owner kept the dogs in the crate because she was a victim of domestic violence and, I suppose (I am making this part up now) I suppose they were crated to keep them out of the way of the domestic violator. Keeping them in the crate all the time probably protected them from the person who was beating the woman up. In any event, the dog was crate trained.

Okay, so Adam and I show up in Chehalis and everyone who is a dog person tells us to make sure we check to make sure that we check his teeth and his legs and to make sure this and that and we tried to do all of that, but, of course, we had no idea what we were doing. The lovely Mennonite girls who rescued this dog assured us that he was a great dog. They had three of their own which is why they could not keep him. They were two of six children in this family and everyone in the family assured us that this would be a good dog. The dog was very connected to these two girls. His back side was bare. His left side was kind of barish too. Fleas? Allergies? It was pretty ugly. His face was so cute. He would not connect with us at all. I bent down to pick him up and he nipped me. It was the only time I have ever ever seen that dog nip anyone. Obviously, I approached him wrong. We took him for a walk. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t know us. We let him off leash and he bolted right back to the house and wouldn’t allow us to get him even with the leash on. We were nervous. We had no idea why we wanted this dog. Everything pointed to us not taking him. However, we packed him up in the crate — the tiny cat crate and put him in our car. We said we’d keep him for the weekend with the agreement that we could return him to them if it didn’t work out. He would not come out of his crate in the car on the way home. He threw up in his crate. He would STILL not come out of his crate. It was pathetic. He was so sad. I dropped Adam off at school and assured him I would get the dog out of the crate, and away from the vomit. I brought him home. I had to take the crate apart (and throw it away, thank you very much) to get him out. I washed the sheet — the only thing he had left of his original home — and took him for a long walk. Along the way, I picked him up about six zillion times. I told him that nipping would not be acceptable and picked him up repeatedly the same way I did back there in Chehalis. He was sad. I took him to Adam’s school to pick up Adam at the end of the day and allowed a zillion kids to surround him even though he was nervous. We did nit while he was in my arms and he nipped no one. I can’t believe I even trusted him that first day. I could go on and on with tiny details of that first day, first week, first month, first months but why bother? 

The happy ending is that even though everything Marty said was true in terms of the negatives about having a dog — even though many of those points have, indeed, gotten in our way, they are outweighed by the simply joy of having Kramer in our lives. We dumped the name Marley and we all started his life with him again. We discovered he had a tail which he holds very high as he prances down the street. He barked but only after six months of quiet. He is not yappy, but he did begin barking after several months of living with us. More than anything else, he became a family member. Marty will still tell you that he would rather not have a dog. There are moments where I wish we didn’t have to deal with a dog, but I would never NOT want Kramer in our lives. He is so loving and joyful and energetic. He is not the smartest dog ever, but he is a dog who senses feelings and acts accordingly. He was so mellow with me when I had surgery last March. He listens to Adam if he’s needing someone to talk with…he cuddles with Marty when he is reading and “helps” him when he is doing yoga.

I would be lying if I said that I am glad we got Kramer for Adam. I AM glad we got Kramer for Adam, but really, I am glad we got a dog. All of us — all of us, have benefited from Kramer’s arrival. All of us smile more. Some of us find ourselves on all fours on the floor…that can only be good. Adam is outdoors a lot more than before for walks. He was mad the other day and he walked, with Kramer, from our house to Alki — nearly six miles. Adam would not have walked six miles across West Seattle on his own in January in shorts.I walked Kramer the day before in a 10K. I have been doing the 10K on New Year’s Eve for years, but it was more fun to do with Kramer and with Liza and Maddie and their dogs. We have all benefited in so many ways in just 365 days. Happy anniversary Kramer. I am so glad we met you and I am grateful you have added so much joy, love, laughter to our family. The vomit? The extra planning that comes with having you? It is far, far outweighed by the richness you have provided in our lives. Thanks. I wish you could understand anniversaries and marking time but since you can’t, we will give you an extra treat or two tonight.

 

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~ by ewesterman on January 6, 2012.